Jeremy Clarkson is a prize plonker there’s no getting away from it and unfortunately motorcycles are in his sights again.

There have been various pictures of him looking a complete well, er plonker, on a Vespa and now he has decided to write an article in The Times, no less, about what he has been up to that has caused such a furore in motorcycling circles and how he doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. Er….that’ll be because of your vigorous anti-motorcycle stance then Jeremy!

Now, I had intended to talk about how he does the likes of you and me no favours in the eyes of the public, but then I thought, hang on, one way to get someone even more press coverage is to get all uppity about them and make the furore even larger.

So, what I will say is that the article is mildly funny, you can read it by clicking here.
That is, funny in the same way as those depressingly awful biker movies we have all been subjected to over the years. We can see shades of ourselves in there somewhere, and have a bit of a snigger here and there, but that’s as far as it goes.

What Clarkson has managed to do aside from insulting motorcyclists, Americans, Scots and Italians, is convince the general car driving British public that they shouldn’t buy a motorbike. Hmmm, that’s no great shakes when you see the standard of driving of some people on the road, why would we want them on a motorbike? Anyway they couldn’t hold their mobile phone and hold the handlebars!

Most motorcyclists I would say just “get it” from the off, “it” being the sense of freedom, adventure and being part of the picture rather than observing it that no other form of road-going transport can give you. The fact that Clarkson doesn’t get it is his loss.

Compare riding on the roads to say 20-30 years ago. Yes the standard of driving seems to have generally got worse, the state of the roads has got worse and cars and motorbikes have increased in number and in speed. But generally we are not the evil blight on the roads that we were considered to be then. Have you noticed that when you are filtering around stationery traffic that a lot of drivers will pull over and let you pass? This is a fairly recent phenomenon that I welcome and a wave of thanks makes sure they do it again for the next motorcyclist.

Now you will always get the grumpy old git, like my Dad, who questions why we always have to go to the front, or the 4 x 4 Hummer/Mitsubishi Warrior brigade, who, poor things, have very small appendages and therefore have to make up for it by trying to block our paths.

Ha! Ha! If they weren’t in a tin box they wouldn’t be stuck in the queue would they?

And Clarkson calls bikers dim!

I shall look forward to seeing Clarkson in his is £150K metal box with his heater and his boot (trunk) stuck in a queue of traffic going no-where fast and sail past him with a cheery wave safe in the knowledge that I won’t be encountering him on two wheels any time soon or anywhere for that matter as he’ll just be in another queue somewhere.